Plant-based Pun Lover Pillows

'The vegetarians are the smug-looking ones...'

"Mr. Whopple, time to slow down on the veggie diet!"

"I'm looking for ground beef that's organic, non-GMO, and doesn't contain meat."

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"He treated associates like he treated his plants."

"This IS a chicken fried steak!"

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

"I have to be honest: the job you're applying for is a real no-brainer. Are you sure you're OK with that?"

"A little lamb please."

Val and Les could see a fork in the road but they weren't expecting a dip.

Onion Guillotine

"Okay,let's go through this one more time. I asked for a LEMON in my water, not a LEMMING."

Pickled beets.

"Yes, sir, it's Houstonia Michauxii and it prefers shade or semi-shade."

"So this bacon in my ear - d'you think it can be cured..?"

"Guac-A-Mole"

"I like a diet rich in surfers."

Flytrap nerd.

"I'm going to start with the antipasta."

Gastrique Bypass

'What's your favourite meal?' 'Seconds.'

What on earth are you doing? Well, you wanted battered sausage, didn't you?

"Were you genuinely interested in where I get my protein, or was it the introductory question to a long and pointless attack on my personal dietary choices?"

Couple in restaurant, "Sorry it's slow, Chef's got the runs"

"It's not addicting, all natural, recycled and plant-based...it's cud!"

What's the difference between fast food and slow food?