Plant Pun Aficionado Pillows

'Stopped a shoplifter today. Caught him red-handed.'

Argutifolius Fistulosis

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

"Hic. Gosh and begorrah!" "Wha?"

"He refuses to talk and he never listens."

"He treated associates like he treated his plants."

Happy Bifurcation Day,

"I have to be honest: the job you're applying for is a real no-brainer. Are you sure you're OK with that?"

"I'm looking for something a little more open pan."

"Nobody loves me." "Yeah, nobody listens to me. Not even my wife." "My kids don't respect me."

Flytrap nerd.

"No conifering, please."

"Like most of your proposals Pinkley ...it ain't gonna fly!"

'Joe said he had some special bulbs.'

'I get a lot of job offers..'

'Without Van Gogh, his ear painted even more abstract!'

'The vegetarians are the smug-looking ones...'

'The SPCA called on Schrodinger...'

"So how often do you have these dreams about the axe?"

Chick escapes from egg prison.

"Mr. Whopple, time to slow down on the veggie diet!"

Say it with cacti

"Good news - he's in a vegetative state."

"Please tell me I look NOTHING like THAT guy!"

"I'm Eggspecting."

Rabbit spraying 'Hare Spray' on head.

Cactus Hold Up

Northern Ireland Garden Centre - Seeds of Democracy: Might not blossom.

"Bloody cowslips!"

B.S.E., Foot and Mouth, CJD....

"My paw's getting tired. Is your paw getting tired?"

"Wouldn't this one look nice shrivelled up in the kitchen?"