Plant Punter Pillows

"Bretheren and Sistern out there in Congregational Land!"

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

"I never accomplish the impossible, if I did it would become an expectation."

'She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me...'

Technical Terms Explained: Suckers.

"Yes, sir, it's Houstonia Michauxii and it prefers shade or semi-shade."

The vegan hunter

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

'Ere Bert, what do I do with a lady who wants an each way bet on the boat race?'

International Carrot Day April 4th

Headstone in bird cage, "We really loved our budgie.."

Vegan Insomnia

"Of course, in life he was allergic to them."

"Here, try this anti-dandruff fertiliser my gardener recommended."

"Must dash - I'm appearing in a 'restaurant soup' cartoon this afternoon..."

After 10 years, the great potato race of 1997 was finally declared a tie.

-You seem certain he'll win the second race! -Yes, because he's in the FIRST race!

'I bet I can tell you the score before the game starts. Nil-nil.'

'Not that sort of palm reading!'

'I do admire your honesty in your garden planning.'

Gambler And Umpire

"I told you it was a waste of time, it's a vegan home."

Free-range tofu.

Donkey Fights

"I'm your waiter and a vegetarian. Let's try to do this without anyone getting hurt"

The God's football

The many moods of produce

"I think we need to spend some time apart."

"Hi! I'm here for Bob the Vegan."

"I think this calls for a number 3 rake."

Hank the vegetarian couldn't make it as a contract killer.

"Just dumb luck on your part....tomorrow the whole village is turning vegan."

"You're Not Bending Your Knees."