Plant-powered Punster Pillows

"Just dumb luck on your part....tomorrow the whole village is turning vegan."

Hank the vegetarian couldn't make it as a contract killer.

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

'Dad, you know that I'd never buy a pet that eats meat. Luckily, I found a guy who sold me the World's only vegetarian dog!'

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

'She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me...'

Garden of Eden and scrumping

"YOU pass him on the left."

"Yes, I'm sure some child in Brussels won't starve if you eat his sprouts."

Unknown historical typos: Isaac Newton presser, 1687

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

Technical Terms Explained: Suckers.

Prize vegetables with rude names.

'Boy, plastic flowers these days are so lifelike: I've been fooled again...'

"I call it decking - it will be all the rage in a few years."

Florist delivers Cactus to Man on Bed of Nails

The vegan hunter

"Yes, sir, it's Houstonia Michauxii and it prefers shade or semi-shade."

'My mom says an apple a day keeps the physician's assistant away.'

"I dread these W.I. meetings

"Bretheren and Sistern out there in Congregational Land!"

'Hey, Lady, this is a sixty zone!'

'You want to become a vegan?... Well okay, but you do realise there'll be nothing lower than you on the food chain?'

Go Veggie...

"Oh, nothing much. Just experimenting with some rabbits."

International Carrot Day April 4th

"Aren't those dead flowers fake?"

Vegan Insomnia

Three Circles of Gardener's Hell.

Surfin' the web.

You can't beat a nice bit of skirting!

"Here, try this anti-dandruff fertiliser my gardener recommended."

Timmy Gets Solitary.