Plant-based Foodie Pillows

"I'll have the vegan chickpea 'omelette'-- and can I have some 'flavor' on the side?"

"I'm getting subtle hints of chlorophyll."

"There are a lot of humans out there that don't eat animals."

'That IS the chef's surprise, sir -- the pork chops are really tofu.'

Tofu bi-products.

Vegan

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

"States of tofu"

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

Advocado

"Two vegans, please."

The Jolly Green Giant Squid

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

Before/After

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"I don't care if it's plant-based, you're creeping everyone out."

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

"You had me at alternative milk."

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

Runner Bean...

Tree's Tree Nursery. Get this. Dad is selling those goofy upside-down tomato planters. What idiot would buy them? Thanks! I'll let you know how it works! My idiotic bio teacher.

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"

'Radford, go in for Bloom. ... Uh-uh-uh! Finish your vegetables first!'

"Jersey Tomatoes" vs. "Jersey toMAHtoes"

"I think we can take you off the cabbage diet now"

Artichoking victim

"Wine is plant-based food."

"I'm pleased to say our dishes all have too much kale."

"In my previous life I was arugula."