Plant-based Gourmet Pillows

Amy's Vegetarian Restaurant - Welcome Meat Inspectors' Convention!

When Vegans Eat Out. . .

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

The Jolly Green Giant Squid

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

"Two vegans, please."

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

"This is locally grown and good for the environment, but it may give you greenhouse gas."

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

"Vegetables, vegetables, vegetables, welcome to my dystopian world!"

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

Veggie Hall of Fame.

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

"All our donuts are hand fried in what will eventually become biofuel."

Heimlich maneuver, Gastric bypass surgery, Liver transplant.

Stuffing the turkey.

'I'm writing a vegetarian cook book.'

'As far as we know, no one who has eaten our genetically-modified food has turned into a creature or anything.'

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"

O'Malley's Pub. Special: Cloned Beef and Cabbage. Is nothing sacred anymore?

"Obviously, sir, it's a very discerning, vegetarian fly."

"I didn't know they could make so many entrees with vegetables!"

"Uh, yeah, that looks a little too organic."

'Eat your lettuce. It'll put colour back in your cheeks.'

"I'm getting subtle hints of chlorophyll."

"...and, for those parishioners who insist on a Eucharist made with all organic, locally-sourced ingredients, see Father Maguire at aisle three."

'Are you sure you washed this salad?'

"I certainly hope you're composting the leftovers."

"I eat the genetically modified flounder all the time and it's delicious."

'Mom always told us to eat the greens!'

Lemon beelzebub for table 666