Plant-powered Foodie Pillows

"If you want extra virgin oil on the salad that's a £5 supplement...."

'I shouldn't be surprised. Any restaurant that serves Tofurkey is bound to recommend MerNo or Chardon-No-Way to drink with it.'

"States of tofu"

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

Before/After

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

"Two vegans, please."

The Jolly Green Giant Squid

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"I don't care if it's plant-based, you're creeping everyone out."

Recycling bottle bank.

'I'm writing a vegetarian cook book.'

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

The Authentic Christmas.

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"

What's not to like? They're cheap, tasty adn don't destroy the Rain Forest.

"I'm getting subtle hints of chlorophyll."

"Wine is plant-based food."

"After going vegan, replacing all the animal heads just made sense.'

"She's passed out...quick! take her pulses!"

"The food is excellent. Unfortunately, the inaction of politicians forces my husband to civil disobedience."

"Gavin is a bit conflicted when it comes to barbecuing."

Fruit and Vegetables - protestors signs read 'Stop this brutality' and 'Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants'.

"... And that's an 18-pound piece of tofu I shot at Whole Foods."

"We learnt about nutrition at school today Mum: Our diet didn't rate well at all..."

The vegan hunter

'It's your lucky day. I just went vegan.'

"And your tofu, would you like food with that?"

World Meat Consumptiom