Plant-based Enthusiast Pillows

Changing your diet could save your life.

"We tried a vegan Thanksgiving this year, but our family still showed up."

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

'I never said I was a virgin, I said vegan.'

"Dirk is vegan."

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

Vegan Menu

"I'd recognize a fake anywhere."

"I'm surprised Tofurkey isn't more popular. It tastes nothing like turkey."

"I swapped him for a plant based alternative."

"It's not addicting, all natural, recycled and plant-based...it's cud!"

"I can tell you're enjoying your alternative-meat burger. Look at the beet juice running down your chin!"

"Congratulations on your 100% plant-based diet. I'm referring you to a botanist."

"Were you genuinely interested in where I get my protein, or was it the introductory question to a long and pointless attack on my personal dietary choices?"

"Oh boy, let's hope it's a soy-sausage..."

"I know it's made of tofu, Paul, but you're missing the point."

Do you have a traditional lacto-vegan christmas dinner?

For twenty years Harold had been a devoted vegetarian, but then one day...

'Still it can't be any worse than last year, I never thought we'd have to suffer a 'traditional lacto-vegan' Christmas dinner.'

Man in vegan retaurant: 'I'll eat anything with a pulse.'

"Go save some whales with this, you plant-eating losers."

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"

'It appears he hit an iceberg.' (A LETTUCE)

Plants Cheer as They Get Watered.

Yardless: Please help

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

'Congratulations on your 100% plant-based diet. I'm referring you to a botanist.'

'Esther, is it possible, just possible mind you, that your green thumb has gone berserk?'

"Which of these will look the prettiest without the others?"

"Would the widdle Venus fly trap like a fly? You'll have to beg for it."

"Good morning. Fen, Boscage, Bracken & Spinney."

'The forest is so dark and gloomy: It's nice to reach the emergence and get a bit of sunshine...'

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

"Have you guys seen my recent collab with the universe?"

Mantis Love