Plant-based Enthusiast Gifts

Changing your diet could save your life.

When vegans pose for photos.

"We tried a vegan Thanksgiving this year, but our family still showed up."

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

'I never said I was a virgin, I said vegan.'

"Dirk is vegan."

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

Vegan Menu

"I'd recognize a fake anywhere."

"I'm surprised Tofurkey isn't more popular. It tastes nothing like turkey."

"I swapped him for a plant based alternative."

"It's not addicting, all natural, recycled and plant-based...it's cud!"

"I can tell you're enjoying your alternative-meat burger. Look at the beet juice running down your chin!"

"Congratulations on your 100% plant-based diet. I'm referring you to a botanist."

"Were you genuinely interested in where I get my protein, or was it the introductory question to a long and pointless attack on my personal dietary choices?"

"Oh boy, let's hope it's a soy-sausage..."

"I know it's made of tofu, Paul, but you're missing the point."

Do you have a traditional lacto-vegan christmas dinner?

For twenty years Harold had been a devoted vegetarian, but then one day...

'Still it can't be any worse than last year, I never thought we'd have to suffer a 'traditional lacto-vegan' Christmas dinner.'

Man in vegan retaurant: 'I'll eat anything with a pulse.'

"Go save some whales with this, you plant-eating losers."

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"

'It appears he hit an iceberg.' (A LETTUCE)

Plants Cheer as They Get Watered.

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

Yardless: Please help

Palms. When fully grown that species will provide some nice shade in your your yard. Fronds with benefits.

'Congratulations on your 100% plant-based diet. I'm referring you to a botanist.'

'Esther, is it possible, just possible mind you, that your green thumb has gone berserk?'

'The forest is so dark and gloomy: It's nice to reach the emergence and get a bit of sunshine...'

"Which of these will look the prettiest without the others?"

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

"Good morning. Fen, Boscage, Bracken & Spinney."

"Have you guys seen my recent collab with the universe?"