Plant Aficionado Gifts

"We've licked the slug problem,Stan.No need for a beer trap tonight."

Rite of Spring.

Have you found any gold balls in there?

"At last - I've found a position that matches your talents, Perkiss!"

We'll cling together just like the Ivy.

"I've seen a tulip before."

Bonsai Exhibit

Gardening.

'We've got to dig out that rhododendron. . . It's almost dead. How can you say it looks fine?'

'What do you mean, you forgot to put the chlorophyll in Adam and Eve?'

'Why does everything have to break into flower the day I go on holiday?'

Bonsai Loggers

Try to extinguish the potting shed...brush wood ash into a neat pile - it will make valuable plant food.

Customers seek Alyssum in Garden Centre.

Topiary: When the written word isn't enough

"It's the house specialty."

"Would you see to old Peterson? He's in the philodendron again."

'It appears he hit an iceberg.' (A LETTUCE)

Plants Cheer as They Get Watered.

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

Yardless: Please help

'Congratulations on your 100% plant-based diet. I'm referring you to a botanist.'

'Esther, is it possible, just possible mind you, that your green thumb has gone berserk?'

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

"Have you guys seen my recent collab with the universe?"

Genetic modification creating plastic from plant cellulose.

'The forest is so dark and gloomy: It's nice to reach the emergence and get a bit of sunshine...'

"Good morning. Fen, Boscage, Bracken & Spinney."

"She loves you... yeah... yeah... yeah..."

"Which of these will look the prettiest without the others?"

"Would the widdle Venus fly trap like a fly? You'll have to beg for it."

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

"Just a couple of ninety cent seed packets, and you can have fresh garden vegetables for heaven knows how long."

Mantis Love

Bonsai tree held up by matchstick