Plant-based Foodie Gifts

"I'll have the vegan chickpea 'omelette'-- and can I have some 'flavor' on the side?"

"I'm getting subtle hints of chlorophyll."

"There are a lot of humans out there that don't eat animals."

'That IS the chef's surprise, sir -- the pork chops are really tofu.'

Tofu bi-products.

Vegan

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

"States of tofu"

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

Advocado

Before/After

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

"Two vegans, please."

The Jolly Green Giant Squid

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"I don't care if it's plant-based, you're creeping everyone out."

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

"You had me at alternative milk."

Runner Bean...

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"

'Radford, go in for Bloom. ... Uh-uh-uh! Finish your vegetables first!'

"Jersey Tomatoes" vs. "Jersey toMAHtoes"

"I think we can take you off the cabbage diet now"

"Wine is plant-based food."

"I'm pleased to say our dishes all have too much kale."

"In my previous life I was arugula."

Artichoking victim

'Is it organic?'