Plant-based Eater Pillows

Marrow transplants

'It's your lucky day. I just went vegan.'

"And your tofu, would you like food with that?"

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

"Two vegans, please."

The Jolly Green Giant Squid

'There's a reason I only eat organic free range.'

"States of tofu"

'Congratulations on your 100% plant-based diet. I'm referring you to a botanist.'

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

Advocado

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

Before/After

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"I don't care if it's plant-based, you're creeping everyone out."

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

"You had me at alternative milk."

Runner Bean...

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

Peas on Earth.

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"

'Radford, go in for Bloom. ... Uh-uh-uh! Finish your vegetables first!'

"Jersey Tomatoes" vs. "Jersey toMAHtoes"

"I think we can take you off the cabbage diet now"

'This high fiber diet is great! I've lost 10 pounds since I started eating my stuffing.'

"Wine is plant-based food."

Artichoking victim

"I'm getting subtle hints of chlorophyll."

"In my previous life I was arugula."

"She's passed out...quick! take her pulses!"

"After going vegan, replacing all the animal heads just made sense.'