Plant-based Lifestyle Pillows

"... And that's an 18-pound piece of tofu I shot at Whole Foods."

Fruit and Vegetables - protestors signs read 'Stop this brutality' and 'Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants'.

"I've been on a plant-based diet all my life and it hasn't helped the planet."

The vegan hunter

Vegan Menu

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

"States of tofu"

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

Before/After

"Two vegans, please."

The Jolly Green Giant Squid

See you at the farmers market!

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

"Just a couple of ninety cent seed packets, and you can have fresh garden vegetables for heaven knows how long."

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"I don't care if it's plant-based, you're creeping everyone out."

"You had me at alternative milk."

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

"Our vegan dishes are the same as what cows eat: Nitrates, Pesticides, Ammonia, Antibiotics..."

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

"Wine is plant-based food."

"I'm getting subtle hints of chlorophyll."

"She's passed out...quick! take her pulses!"

"After going vegan, replacing all the animal heads just made sense.'

"I can't remember which ones are plant-based."

'It's your lucky day. I just went vegan.'

"And your tofu, would you like food with that?"

"It's not addicting, all natural, recycled and plant-based...it's cud!"

"Were you genuinely interested in where I get my protein, or was it the introductory question to a long and pointless attack on my personal dietary choices?"

The It Tastes Like Cr*p Because Its Healthy Cafe

'You want to become a vegan?... Well okay, but you do realise there'll be nothing lower than you on the food chain?'