Planning An Outdoor Wedding Gifts

"You said you wanted an outdoor wedding just because it was romantic!"

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

Wedding Day Itinerary.

'Okay.. what the hell.'

Beach Barbecue

"Look! I'm going to be a customer!"

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

'I always cry at weddings!'

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

"See what I mean? It's going to take a bigger diamond."

'Why don't you leave the planning of our wedding to me?'

"I do like a plant that can hold its drink"

"This chicken wasn't cooked - it committed suttee!"

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'

You'll be the centre of attention for a job well done!

Wedding Fayre

"Take your time. Do you see the person who made you wear that dress?"

"It's a cookout-act stupid!"

"Ours will be the first mixed marriage in my family. Dog people NEVER marry cat people."

"Isn't this fun?"

The Plinth Wedding Planner Co.

"Sorry I'm late. I had to get a tattoo removed"

"Which do I enjoy more. . . the grillin' or the chillin'?"

'We've postponed the wedding until we come up with something we can do at the ceremony that will become a viral video.'

'Of course I want a fairy tale wedding. What did you expect?'

'It was so romantic. He got down on one knee, showed me the ring, and proposed--right after we exchanged credit reports.'

'So, how long will this take?'

Frank's Bakery. Before we see your wedding cake

Suzies days as a flower girl were numbered.

The Aisle

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

"Will the role of wife call for any nudity?"