Planning An Outdoor Wedding Pillows

"You said you wanted an outdoor wedding just because it was romantic!"

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

'Okay.. what the hell.'

"Look! I'm going to be a customer!"

Beach Barbecue

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

'I always cry at weddings!'

"See what I mean? It's going to take a bigger diamond."

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

'Why don't you leave the planning of our wedding to me?'

"I do like a plant that can hold its drink"

"This chicken wasn't cooked - it committed suttee!"

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'

Wedding Fayre

You'll be the centre of attention for a job well done!

"It's a cookout-act stupid!"

"Take your time. Do you see the person who made you wear that dress?"

"Sorry I'm late. I had to get a tattoo removed"

The Plinth Wedding Planner Co.

"Ours will be the first mixed marriage in my family. Dog people NEVER marry cat people."

"Isn't this fun?"

"Which do I enjoy more. . . the grillin' or the chillin'?"

'We've postponed the wedding until we come up with something we can do at the ceremony that will become a viral video.'

'Of course I want a fairy tale wedding. What did you expect?'

The Aisle

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

Suzies days as a flower girl were numbered.

'So, how long will this take?'

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"

"Will the role of wife call for any nudity?"

'It was so romantic. He got down on one knee, showed me the ring, and proposed--right after we exchanged credit reports.'

'Maybe we could hold the wedding on 'Casual Friday'.'