Outdoor Parties Pillows

"I'm here for a good time AND a long time."

Beach Barbecue

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

"You're more than welcome to join my husband in the hot tub if you so wish."

"Which do I enjoy more. . . the grillin' or the chillin'?"

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

"It's not a party until someone gets plowed."

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

Shakespeare in the Park: "To pee, or not to pee..."

'Oh, look - a juggling stilt-walker painting that little child's face!'

"I do like a plant that can hold its drink"

Occupational Hazards.

'Let me guess...you're a knights supporter?'

"This chicken wasn't cooked - it committed suttee!"

You'll be the centre of attention for a job well done!

"It's a cookout-act stupid!"

"I use old Duke to check my steaks. If it feels like Duke's tongue, it's rare, if it feels like his ear, it's medium. . ."

"Don't let him get to you. I'm sure there are lots of people you didn't invite."

What if they held a chili cookoff, & nobody came!

Prosecco

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

'Propane ran out.'

Apparently summer's going to start next month.

Face Painting.

Beer Garden Kit

"Every once in a while he gets nostalgic for Woodstock."

'We've been tailgating so long, I think we might be homeless.'

Barbecue: Touch the Chef Inappropriately!

Sparklers

'Is this your first Henley Regatta?'

'I love it when it's sunny at festivals. It makes the mud so much warmer.'

'Topologist at a picnic brings the lemonade in a Klein bottle'

'It's a common misconception. Sometime we actually get quite hot.'