Pizzeria Employee Gifts

'What kind of idiot orders a triple anchovy pizza with no cheese?'

"Stephen and I are today's special."

Counting ribs

"Even the waiters here are organic."

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

"You owe me five bucks."

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

"Sorry, that's not my table."

"Deep-dish pizza calls for deep-glass beer."

'I'd like a round table!'

"Honey, have you seen my onions?"

'I was hoping for a better bonus this year.'

'4 Jello desserts - and, for the love of God, please make them all the same color.' (at restaurant with three kids)

The Velvet Mesquite

'Can't he ever use a different kind of chart?'

"So, you want me to go all the way back to the kitchen just to get you a menu...? Couldn't I just give you a link to our, online menu?!"

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

'Would you like a balloon with that?'

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"Room for dessert, folks?"

"Would you prefer the talking or the non-talking section?"

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'