Pizza Aficionado Gifts

"If you must know—pizza, pepperoni pizza, and I'm going to relish every damn bite."

"I'd just as soon it wasn't cut into those funny little pieces, if you don't mind."

'He's in training for the marathon, he watches it every year.'

Instead of hunting gazelle tonight, how about ordering a pizza and eating the delivery man?

"Who says you can't still find a dollar slice in this city?"

"Am I going crazy or does this table smell like mozzarella cheese?!?"

"I'm afraid that eating 12 varieties of pizza doesn't constitute a 'varied' diet."

"Relax, I'm just here to deliver a pizza."

'For Jimmy's birthday we're having a regurgitated pizza party.'

A short-lived waiter: "Could I bring you some garlic bread with that?"

'We should dispose of the evidence.'

'Tomorrow we'll just have lettuce and water, OK.'

"The gluten is free. The pizza, however, cost $12.95."

"Freshly ground Ozempic?"

"Be that way, Marilyn. You weren't sneering at me when I was managing your portfolio."

"Oh, great, the fundamentalists are back."

"Es tu, Little Caesar?"

"I've heard tell of a Ray's even more original."

"I hope you didn't tip him for a cold pizza."

"I'd like to order one large pizza with traditional toppings that have stood the test of time..."

"I know it's a long shot, but could you throw in a squirrel with that pizza?"

Two armed guards remove a pizza from an armored vehicle.

"You can think of it s me saving you a slice or the one leftover slice, either way it's cold."

"I can't even remember what we were fighting about."

"You don't get water retention, dear. You get pizza retention."

Sm. Pepperoni & Mushroom Cloud

"Home of the 7-Slicer"

Radioactive Pizza

"You had a baby?"

"Carpe pizza"

"Medium pepperoni. Extra anchovies. Extra mice..." "And birds. Tell me you didn't forget the small birds."

"Now we wait."

Pizzas

"While you were fighting for an equal number of slices, I was lobbying to deregulate their size!"

Pizza Lovers! Sleep on this