Pitchfork Enthusiast Gifts

Born to raise soy beans.

The experienced backpacker.

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

I like what I'm seein' out there. This could be our year Wikowski.

'This will only hurt for a moment.'

"Jessica has an idea about going to the beach that she'd like to pitch you."

"Amazon wants to open a facility here due to our friendly labor environment."

It's a good thing our neighbors don't know what weirdos we are.

'Well, I'm glad to have you with us!'

The not so secret life of Walter Mitty

"Something's trying to get through the Astroturf!"

Jurgen Klopp Caricature

"Don't let it bother you. The doctor told my wife it would keep her mind sharp if she learned a new skill."

'It's 'big office' meets 'poorly-received flop'!'

"He's upset I'm getting 36,000 points for speeding in one night."

'Any questions?'

'No fair, man. How come you get a dessert fork?'

A chef uses a giant utensil to chop a tiny sausage.

'You want to run that by me again?'

'Wrong fork. Good Lord, man, don't you have any table manners?'

He's not going to say anything. He just likes to lick his glove.

Looking Daggers

So, do you have any hidden talents?

"Fantastic business concept! I'm sure with that we'll convince the bank to give us a 87,000,000 Euro loan!"

'Sorry - I left the naughty kid files on the train.'

'... And when Brad Pitt told you that it was this way to the waterhole, you didn't think that you may have been hallucinating?'

'Would you like to see my sales presentation from where you're sitting? Or would you feel more comfortable in a head lock?'

Farm Humor.

'My idea is to beg you to give me some money.'

'He hits better against right handed pitching, so pitch left-handed, to him.'

Peg Party.

"We're all good here. . . thanks anyway."