Pitchfork Enthusiast Gifts

Born to raise soy beans.

The experienced backpacker.

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

I like what I'm seein' out there. This could be our year Wikowski.

'This will only hurt for a moment.'

"Jessica has an idea about going to the beach that she'd like to pitch you."

It's a good thing our neighbors don't know what weirdos we are.

'Well, I'm glad to have you with us!'

The not so secret life of Walter Mitty

Jurgen Klopp Caricature

"He's upset I'm getting 36,000 points for speeding in one night."

"Something's trying to get through the Astroturf!"

"Don't let it bother you. The doctor told my wife it would keep her mind sharp if she learned a new skill."

'It's 'big office' meets 'poorly-received flop'!'

'Any questions?'

'No fair, man. How come you get a dessert fork?'

A chef uses a giant utensil to chop a tiny sausage.

'You want to run that by me again?'

'Wrong fork. Good Lord, man, don't you have any table manners?'

So, do you have any hidden talents?

Looking Daggers

'Sorry - I left the naughty kid files on the train.'

"Fantastic business concept! I'm sure with that we'll convince the bank to give us a 87,000,000 Euro loan!"

'Would you like to see my sales presentation from where you're sitting? Or would you feel more comfortable in a head lock?'

Farm Humor.

'He hits better against right handed pitching, so pitch left-handed, to him.'

'My idea is to beg you to give me some money.'

Peg Party.

"We're all good here. . . thanks anyway."

HEAD CHEF - A chef collects the heads of the chefs that rank below him.