Fork Aficionado Gifts

Spoonfest

Soup of the month.

'Life is great' down on the farm.

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Country Bumpkin.

'So who needs sonar?!'

"It's called 'semelparity' darling. The salmon spawn then die, so we just need to wait at the spawning grounds to get an easy feed. It's all about sustainability."

Jurassic Pork

"And would you like flies with that?"

'Well, dad, as a medical student I've got to read specialized literature!'

'I'm moving up to be Chairperson-of-the-board. One of you will be President.' (Men have fencing swords).

'Forget worms. Think fast food.'

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

"Well, looks like Bob has hooked another baby kraken."

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

'Can he come out and play?'

Ice Fly-Fishing with Doug

'How do you stop a fish from smelling?'

'This will only hurt for a moment.'

"I wish someone would come and turn the vibrating buzzer off on that mobile phone!"

Cat to fisherman about his caught fish: 'Let me clean them.'

I've located your problem, luv!

Neil Young

'Mom, where does bacon come from?'

"This place could use a moat!"

"We're out of today's soup, but you can have tomorrow's soup from yesterday which is the same as today's."

"Shouldn't there be some sort of pecking order around here?"

"Amazon wants to open a facility here due to our friendly labor environment."

"Give a man a fish, you cut your throat. Teach a man to fish, you're a damn fool."

"Don't let it bother you. The doctor told my wife it would keep her mind sharp if she learned a new skill."

'I don't understand. Why do you want to have your arms extended?'

GLOO!

Mermaid spawning time.

"He's upset I'm getting 36,000 points for speeding in one night."