Fork Aficionado Gifts

Spoonfest

Soup of the month.

'Life is great' down on the farm.

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

Country Bumpkin.

'So who needs sonar?!'

"It's called 'semelparity' darling. The salmon spawn then die, so we just need to wait at the spawning grounds to get an easy feed. It's all about sustainability."

Jurassic Pork

'Well, dad, as a medical student I've got to read specialized literature!'

"And would you like flies with that?"

'I'm moving up to be Chairperson-of-the-board. One of you will be President.' (Men have fencing swords).

'Forget worms. Think fast food.'

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

"Well, looks like Bob has hooked another baby kraken."

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

'Can he come out and play?'

"I wish someone would come and turn the vibrating buzzer off on that mobile phone!"

'How do you stop a fish from smelling?'

Cat to fisherman about his caught fish: 'Let me clean them.'

'This will only hurt for a moment.'

Ice Fly-Fishing with Doug

I've located your problem, luv!

"Shouldn't there be some sort of pecking order around here?"

'Mom, where does bacon come from?'

"We're out of today's soup, but you can have tomorrow's soup from yesterday which is the same as today's."

"This place could use a moat!"

"Give a man a fish, you cut your throat. Teach a man to fish, you're a damn fool."

GLOO!

"He's upset I'm getting 36,000 points for speeding in one night."

'They call me the 'grandfather' of Hip-Hop!'

"Don't let it bother you. The doctor told my wife it would keep her mind sharp if she learned a new skill."

'I don't understand. Why do you want to have your arms extended?'

'Hey, Henry,I've got an idea'