Elf Aficionado Gifts

"You must contact everyone who's ever been on your naughty/nice list."

Polar Bear fishing for elves.

Santa's Helpers

'Sorry - I left the naughty kid files on the train.'

Wallowing in elf pity...

'Well, enjoy your time off! Me, I'll be stuck looking at reindeer ass all night...'

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Santa Claus aided down chimney by Elves.

"He's upset I'm getting 36,000 points for speeding in one night."

"Amazon wants to open a facility here due to our friendly labor environment."

Elf with Christmas shopping

Elf

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

High security Santa's grotto

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

Elfie Stick

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"It's just one bad review and we all know who wrote it."

"Then it's agreed. Judgment Day, whenever it comes, will fall on a Thursday, so that they'll get the long weekend."

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

"That's our new church mascot."

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

Jeff Tweedy caricature.

'I'm a perfect little angel while I'm asleep. It's being awake that causes me trouble.'

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

"I'm getting plasma, iron and platelets. RH positive!"

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

"....and then it turned out that the e-mail I ignored that I got from the Nigerian bank offering me £200 million was REAL!"

"You run into a window, too?"

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."

The Suite Hereafter

'Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?'

'Look Chaucer, there goes that rotten plagiarist Shakespeare again!'