Angel Aficionado Gifts

'We put them on the stair master until their paperwork goes through'

"We design them here, but the labor is cheaper in Hell."

'Let's have some fun -- let's make them responsible for their own actions.'

'I can remember when you could go out without having to worry!'

'I choked on a vitamin tablet.'

Near-life experience.

"I had my wings done"

'We haven't had a client in weeks - maybe we should make a promotional video.'

'He's afraid of heights.'

"It's another one of those 'cultural exchange' visits."

'We've always used profiling.'

"Gosh is it Wimbledon fortnight already?"

"Then it's agreed. Judgment Day, whenever it comes, will fall on a Thursday, so that they'll get the long weekend."

'And you say you died a virgin! That's a sin!'

A Heavenly Sight (The Rime of the Ancient Mariner).

The spirit's flight

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

"It's cool, but you kinda miss the trumpet fanfare, right?"Sign: "WELCOME JOSH!"

"There'll be a little wait - would you like to have a drink at the bar?"

'It's been determined that we're un-constitutionally over capacity.'

"Peace on earth and goodwill to all genders."

Punk Angel

Visual Gag / A man in Heaven replacing the AAA batteries for his halo

'Don't take this wrong, Bob - but you have Halo-Tosis.'

'I think that I flew into a down draft.'

"Oh, here comes Melvin the Martyr. Just because he got here by a firing squad, he thinks he's 'holier than thou'."

FSBO Heaven

'I'm a perfect little angel while I'm asleep. It's being awake that causes me trouble.'

"The first thing newcomers seem to want to do is make a 'cloud angel'."

'It's supposed to help me get over my fear of heights.'

"They have a medical plan, and a dental plan, but no veterinary plan."

"To earn your wings, you have to go back and scare the Hell out of people."

"Where is he? I want a word with my guardian angel."

The wise men are following the star of Bethlehem, that is being pulled by a little angel.

'Look Chaucer, there goes that rotten plagiarist Shakespeare again!'