Angel Aficionado Gifts

'We put them on the stair master until their paperwork goes through'

"We design them here, but the labor is cheaper in Hell."

'Let's have some fun -- let's make them responsible for their own actions.'

"It's just one bad review and we all know who wrote it."

'I can remember when you could go out without having to worry!'

"I had my wings done"

Near-life experience.

'I choked on a vitamin tablet.'

'We haven't had a client in weeks - maybe we should make a promotional video.'

"It's another one of those 'cultural exchange' visits."

'He's afraid of heights.'

"Gosh is it Wimbledon fortnight already?"

'We've always used profiling.'

'No, I don't feel a draft.'

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

'And you say you died a virgin! That's a sin!'

A Heavenly Sight (The Rime of the Ancient Mariner).

The spirit's flight

"Then it's agreed. Judgment Day, whenever it comes, will fall on a Thursday, so that they'll get the long weekend."

FSBO Heaven

"Where is he? I want a word with my guardian angel."

"To earn your wings, you have to go back and scare the Hell out of people."

Visual Gag / A man in Heaven replacing the AAA batteries for his halo

"Oh, here comes Melvin the Martyr. Just because he got here by a firing squad, he thinks he's 'holier than thou'."

'I think that I flew into a down draft.'

'I'm a perfect little angel while I'm asleep. It's being awake that causes me trouble.'

The wise men are following the star of Bethlehem, that is being pulled by a little angel.

"Peace on earth and goodwill to all genders."

'All You Can Eat Wings.'

'Don't take this wrong, Bob - but you have Halo-Tosis.'

'Look Chaucer, there goes that rotten plagiarist Shakespeare again!'

"There'll be a little wait - would you like to have a drink at the bar?"

'It's supposed to help me get over my fear of heights.'

Hey get this - Ralph here was a lawyer!

"It's cool, but you kinda miss the trumpet fanfare, right?"Sign: "WELCOME JOSH!"