Alpha Aficionado Gifts

"Pie charts are girlish. We're men, we use steak charts."

"This guy bothering you pretty lady?"

Testostelax

"I'm seeing some dominance issues."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

"Meet the author"

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

'As our new company logo, I'm not quite sure it's sending out the right message.'

'If only every year was an election year.'

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

Back to school.

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

'Have you been 'helping the environment by supporting local produce' again?'

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

Beer Stall

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"I fear one day our jobs will be taken over by technology."

Child's Drawing (With Elephantiasis)

'And if you can't find the microbrew you're looking for here, you might want to try our other store: Microbrews C to E.'

Driverless cars rage.

"What did you download at school today?"

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"

'Yes, it computed the answer in a bilionth of a second and printed it instantly, but until I find my glasses...'

"It said this 'Spilt Coffee' series afforded her a lifetime of lattes."