Fork Duelist Gifts

"You know, you could have just said that you wanted that last piece of pie, dear!"

When Love In The Laboratory Turns Sour.

What an afternoon. Rudy, listen to me. It didn't mean anything. You can't play Xbox 360 all afternoon with a guy and pretend it means nothing. I was drunk! You loved it - all of it. The racing and arcade games, the first-person shooters, but especially ... No ... WWF Wrestling Smackdown. I'm a married woman!

"You and your daft inventions."

Project Manager Showdown

'Half-time, full-time - It's gone into penalties, woman!'

"More?"

Wild West Text Showdown

Bring it on, Scrabble nerd! Want to tell him directly? What do you mean? There's a chat function so you can taunt other online Scrabble players. Just type in your insult and hit send. Have I died and gone to heaven? The internet. And I suspect it' met its match.

"The militant hard-liners are making demands, the fanatical zealots are issuing threats, and the moderate centrists are offering suggestions."

A Fork-lift.

"They've decided to resolve the department's conflicting educational philosophies."

Child to another child - 'En garde!'

'The Position's yours, Henderson - But first you must defeat our champion.'

'No fair, man. How come you get a dessert fork?'

'Wrong fork. Good Lord, man, don't you have any table manners?'

'Have you been eating right?'

Cambridge Dons disagree about the meaning of life.

Political correctness - the early years

'You want a piece of me?'

"Step 10 paces, turn and post your opinion on facebook."

"…Ok, tough guy, see this scar? Prius hit me—didn’t even hear it coming." "I got that beat. Right here: three-year-old woke me from a nap with a fork."

"You did have the last word, but this is a new argument!"

"Hockey players no longer fight. They feel saying mean things about each other on social media hurts more."

That's a salad pitchfork, Bob.

'I don't believe I've ever seen a scientific paper defended quite as vigorously as this one!'

'You srow ze glove in my face?...'

Social Media Attacks.

Spoonfest

'You've got your ears shut again, haven't you?'

"This internet forum ain't big enough fer the two of us."

Golfers sword-fighting with golf clubs.

"You got that many points on a galactic battle? Really? I was beaten by a girl?"

'Uh oh.'

"No. The second fork is for defense."