Fork Duelist Pillows

"You know, you could have just said that you wanted that last piece of pie, dear!"

"You and your daft inventions."

Project Manager Showdown

'Half-time, full-time - It's gone into penalties, woman!'

Wild West Text Showdown

A Fork-lift.

"They've decided to resolve the department's conflicting educational philosophies."

'No fair, man. How come you get a dessert fork?'

'The Position's yours, Henderson - But first you must defeat our champion.'

Child to another child - 'En garde!'

'Wrong fork. Good Lord, man, don't you have any table manners?'

'Have you been eating right?'

Cambridge Dons disagree about the meaning of life.

Political correctness - the early years

'You want a piece of me?'

"Step 10 paces, turn and post your opinion on facebook."

"…Ok, tough guy, see this scar? Prius hit me—didn’t even hear it coming." "I got that beat. Right here: three-year-old woke me from a nap with a fork."

"You did have the last word, but this is a new argument!"

"Hockey players no longer fight. They feel saying mean things about each other on social media hurts more."

'I don't believe I've ever seen a scientific paper defended quite as vigorously as this one!'

'You srow ze glove in my face?...'

'You've got your ears shut again, haven't you?'

Social Media Attacks.

Spoonfest

"This internet forum ain't big enough fer the two of us."

Golfers sword-fighting with golf clubs.

'Uh oh.'

"You got that many points on a galactic battle? Really? I was beaten by a girl?"

"No. The second fork is for defense."

Ski Lift Duel.