Pit Stop Gourmet Pillows

'It's the latest in truck stop chic.'

"I need to tinkle."

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"This is locally grown and good for the environment, but it may give you greenhouse gas."

"Vegetables, vegetables, vegetables, welcome to my dystopian world!"

Veggie Hall of Fame.

Sister Cities

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

"All our donuts are hand fried in what will eventually become biofuel."

Stuffing the turkey.

'It's supposed to look and smell greasy.'

'I'm writing a vegetarian cook book.'

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

'Can you pass me the saw-dust when you're finished with it Darling?'

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

"I didn't know they could make so many entrees with vegetables!"

"I'm getting subtle hints of chlorophyll."

Beef Wellingtons

'If Darwin had been the cook on the Beagle' 'Menu- its Evolution'.

'Eat your lettuce. It'll put colour back in your cheeks.'

"...and, for those parishioners who insist on a Eucharist made with all organic, locally-sourced ingredients, see Father Maguire at aisle three."

'Are you sure you washed this salad?'

"I certainly hope you're composting the leftovers."

"What's not disgusting?"

'Mom always told us to eat the greens!'

'There! Now all we gotta decide is what we're gonna make!'

'You wish, Timmy.'

Cull people who think, because it's organic, they can sell produce that's past its best.

'Your wife borrowed the car.'

I love Sprouts

"What've you got that's good for vegans?"

It's the little surprises that keep a marriage exciting...