Pirate Pretend-player Gifts

"Let's just say your booty isn't quite as valuable as it was!"

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

"Look what I found. Can we keep him?" "Wow! A real pirate!!" "Go ask your mother."

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

'Isn't he supposed to sit on your shoulder Captain?'

"It's hard not to take a mutiny personally."

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

'He's been there ever since he ate the parrot!'

"Tonight we dine with the devil. But tomorrow we really need to finish what's left in the fridge."

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

"Jonathan! I've told you not to put your space toys in the freezer and pretend they're on the ice planet!"

They still don't get it, do they? They can't see we're aping them!

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

"I find parrots have a tendency to fly away"

'Ships plumber reporting for duty.'

'It's a treasure map.'

'May I speak to you alone, Cap'n?'

"Take a pill in the morning, in the afternoon and at night."

Pirate captain: 'I'm so embarrassed! I walked around all day with my swash unbuckled!'

Pirate

"No, I said to swab the deck!"

'It's all just an unfortunate misunderstanding, Your Honor, it was 'Talk Like a Pirate' day, and,,,,'

Walking the Plank.

"How many letters can you read?"

"I'm playing "Explorer" and looking for the Elephant Cemetery: there should be really big bones there!"

'How come I always get the shoulder with the parrot?'

Rats deserting a sinking ship

Fishing for Litter

"You're absolutely sure my wife won't be able to find this?"

'I haven't had the urge for a cigarette for two days. How's the patch working for you?'

'They decided to immure the ladrone in a drogue.'