Pirate Pretend-player Pillows

"Let's just say your booty isn't quite as valuable as it was!"

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

"Look what I found. Can we keep him?" "Wow! A real pirate!!" "Go ask your mother."

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

'Isn't he supposed to sit on your shoulder Captain?'

Any idea how long your family might be visiting?

"It's hard not to take a mutiny personally."

'He's been there ever since he ate the parrot!'

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

"Tonight we dine with the devil. But tomorrow we really need to finish what's left in the fridge."

They still don't get it, do they? They can't see we're aping them!

"Jonathan! I've told you not to put your space toys in the freezer and pretend they're on the ice planet!"

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

'Why is the guitarist doing a Jack Sparrow impression?'

"I find parrots have a tendency to fly away"

'Ships plumber reporting for duty.'

'It's a treasure map.'

'May I speak to you alone, Cap'n?'

'It's all just an unfortunate misunderstanding, Your Honor, it was 'Talk Like a Pirate' day, and,,,,'

Pirate

Rats deserting a sinking ship

'How come I always get the shoulder with the parrot?'

"No, I said to swab the deck!"

Walking the Plank.

"How many letters can you read?"

"Take a pill in the morning, in the afternoon and at night."

Pirate captain: 'I'm so embarrassed! I walked around all day with my swash unbuckled!'

"I'm playing "Explorer" and looking for the Elephant Cemetery: there should be really big bones there!"

Fishing for Litter

"You're absolutely sure my wife won't be able to find this?"

Corporate pirate.