Pirate Performer Gifts

Pirate

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

"Look what I found. Can we keep him?" "Wow! A real pirate!!" "Go ask your mother."

'Isn't he supposed to sit on your shoulder Captain?'

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

"It's hard not to take a mutiny personally."

'He's been there ever since he ate the parrot!'

"Shred the plank."

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

"Tonight we dine with the devil. But tomorrow we really need to finish what's left in the fridge."

"I find parrots have a tendency to fly away"

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

Pirates at the mall.

'Ships plumber reporting for duty.'

'May I speak to you alone, Cap'n?'

'It's all just an unfortunate misunderstanding, Your Honor, it was 'Talk Like a Pirate' day, and,,,,'

Pirate captain: 'I'm so embarrassed! I walked around all day with my swash unbuckled!'

Rats deserting a sinking ship

Walking the Plank.

"No, I said to swab the deck!"

"How many letters can you read?"

'How come I always get the shoulder with the parrot?'

"With your voice and my marketing skills, we'll sell records by the million!"

"You're absolutely sure my wife won't be able to find this?"

'They decided to immure the ladrone in a drogue.'

Pirate Dives For Underwater Treasure

'I haven't had the urge for a cigarette for two days. How's the patch working for you?'

Corporate pirate.

'Without thinking Captain Hook uses the wrong hand'