Pirate Play Enthusiast Gifts

"Relax, Marge! I'm sure the folks at 'Ultimate Pirate Adventures'. . ."

Remote control pirate bully

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

Piracy on a boating lake

"Look what I found. Can we keep him?" "Wow! A real pirate!!" "Go ask your mother."

The Dubloon Stops Here

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

'Are we there yet?'

"It says: 'The teamwork that got you here is the real treasure.' Aww."

"As I was only saying the other day..."

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

"Buzz off, Fly-boy. We don't need more accessories."

"You're lucky someone was nice enough to turn it in."

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

"I got a swiss army hook!"

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

'Isn't he supposed to sit on your shoulder Captain?'

"What if we're just a ship in somebody's bottle? Yar, here comes me existential crisis."

"Shiver-me-timbers, wench! How many times have I got to tell you? I'm not winking at you!"

Cat scratches on a pirate's wooden leg.

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

tRUMp, Pirate President

Pirate

'He's been there ever since he ate the parrot!'

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

'It's the pink spot, Jim lad - them rascals is going to try and tweak my nipples!'