Pirate Captains Gifts

'That's the box your presents came in.'

Remote control pirate bully

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

'Cannonball!'

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

"Look what I found. Can we keep him?" "Wow! A real pirate!!" "Go ask your mother."

'Are we there yet?'

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

Piracy on a boating lake

"It says: 'The teamwork that got you here is the real treasure.' Aww."

The Dubloon Stops Here

Sailor in Car.

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

"Buzz off, Fly-boy. We don't need more accessories."

"You're lucky someone was nice enough to turn it in."

"As I was only saying the other day..."

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

A massive ship pulls in in Central Park.

"I got a swiss army hook!"

Captain steering house through flood.

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

"It's hard not to take a mutiny personally."

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

Treasure Island Book.

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

'Isn't he supposed to sit on your shoulder Captain?'

"What if we're just a ship in somebody's bottle? Yar, here comes me existential crisis."