Pirate Captain Gifts

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

'Thanks for the super pirate ship, Mum.'

Remote control pirate bully

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

'Cannonball!'

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

Captain in a storm

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

Piracy on a boating lake

'Are we there yet?'

The Dubloon Stops Here

"It says: 'The teamwork that got you here is the real treasure.' Aww."

"Look what I found. Can we keep him?" "Wow! A real pirate!!" "Go ask your mother."

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

"As I was only saying the other day..."

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

"You're lucky someone was nice enough to turn it in."

"Buzz off, Fly-boy. We don't need more accessories."

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

A massive ship pulls in in Central Park.

Captain steering house through flood.

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

"I got a swiss army hook!"

'Well, it wasn't my lucky day... first there was that shark and then I bimped into a bunch of beaver!'

"Sorry, Rick, but no thongs means no thongs."

'If we get out of this alive, I'm going to have a darn good look at your resume.'

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

'Isn't he supposed to sit on your shoulder Captain?'