Picky Shopper Gifts

"It's black, but it's not New York black."

"I'm looking for something special that says 'Meow.'"

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

I thought you said Megson couldn't be bought.

'I've never opened her up on the highway, but I get great mileage in the city!'

"So, do you want balls that only go up, or ones that only go down?"

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

Unfinished Funiture Store.

Supermarket - World Cup Specials

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

'What can you get with a quarter?'

'Running your own business means being self-made, unfortunately it also means finding out what you're made of!'

Unusual Offers

"Okay, lets see what we have here."

Latest Greatest Fastest Computer...versus Good Enough.

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

'Triple-headed razors?... Aisle seven.'

'Please enter your pin now.'

STRIP Hambone: Expensive repair job

Armstrong, the new Ybox game console comes out next week. I've got to get in line at Computer Villa. Nope. You are callous and inhumane. Fortunately, I have a backup plan. Computer Villa sale! If anyone cuts, chew their nose off.

Expensive greeting cards.

The Bargain Brand

"Does it come with magnets?"

How much would you take off for cash?

Mall of ages

Down on Her.

"You might say I'm middle-of-the-road. I'd buy a fur coat but I wouldn't buy a Japanese fur coat."

Jumble Sale

'I'm sure they make it up in volume.'

'Gee, these are great, are they dishwasher proof?'

'Can we move the beef jerky a smidge and display our organic cleanser?'