Quirky Shopper Gifts

Fake Diplomas

"OMG! I've bought wine instead of milk...again!"

"Try our Austrian wines."

'Gee, these are great, are they dishwasher proof?'

Masochist Shop Special, pay up to 200% extra!

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

"This banana I bought yesterday, when I peeled it it was empty!"

'You can tell me anything, Mrs. Rojak. I'd never violate the sacred fish store-customer relationship.'

'I realized there was no store in the neighborhood where you could biy a book and you could also buy a pot.'

'Yes, I have a smaller shoe, do you have a smaller foot?'

"We can't compete with that crap. They've got the crappiest crap on the internet."

Shoppers of Mystery.

Unfinished Funiture Store.

Woman with sardine tin with warning that it may contain mutant whale-size sardines.

e-procurement

'Tap shoes? You can't use tap shoes in the jungle! Honestly, Herb, you'd let the trader sell you anything!'

Steel: Retail Outlet

Kangaroo shoes.

"Do you have anything in a smaller size?"

"I'm thinking something in a cheddar."

'Sale - monopole magnets - 50% off'

'We changed our return policy about 20 years ago.'

'Can we move the beef jerky a smidge and display our organic cleanser?'

Sale - Eyepod.

Hand bags and more

'Wobbly carrot hotline.'

Milk in a bag.

Frankenstuff.

'It's you.'

'A coconut, a jar of pickled pig's feet, five pounds of leeks, a dozen owl eggs, rutabagas and buffalo jerkey... you lost the list I gave you didn't you!'

Giant Irregulars Dale: 'Tie a knot at the bottom and you have one very, very deep pocket!'

'Please enter your pin now.'

'You won't find a better deal. Not for frameless.'

'Just looking, thanks.'

Slowsave.