Picky Eater Parent Gifts

'He's gotten so fussy.'

"I say it's broccoli, and I say, "Fuck It"."

"My son refuses to eat fish. What do you think is a good replacement?"

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

'Broccoli is biodegradable, you know, in case you want to throw it out before I eat it.'

'Okay mum, I'll eat it all up. But I doubt I'll grow big and strong on this muck!'

'Oh come on! I can't be that bad!'

"Please don't kill me."

He wanted a different one.

'You had better eat those intestinal organs or there's no dessert for you!'

'Strained Carrots Again? What am I being punished for this time?'

"Mummy said dinner was brussels sprouts tonight. What about we drop by the park and see if the old man sitting on the bench can feed us instead?"

"I'll have the vegetable lasagne, hold the vegetables."

'Do I have to give thanks for all the spinach, or just the bite I'm going to eat?'

"Mouse? No. They contain cheese and I'm lactose intolerant."

'Is it organic?'

'Could I trade all of this for more of that?'

"Life is so unfair! There are already ants in the cake but none in the broccoli casserole!"

"She doesn't eat raw zebra... Where can we get Alaska wild salmon in cream truffle sauce in the middle of Africa?"

'Aww, mom! Pineapple upside down cake? ...Again?'

"Trust me, it tastes good – you won’t like it."

"I guess that pretty well debunks the fruits and vegetables are good for you myth."

"Come on, honey, try just one Goliath pea. It's organic, locally grown, and GMO free."

'I say it's spinach and the heck with it!'

"Do you want the rest of this mouse? It tastes gamey to me."

'Being omnivorous means we eat anything: That includes Brussel sprouts!'

"Can you test for broccoli and brussels sprouts too?"

"That cat is just finicky...I think the cat food tastes just fine! How about you, Herb?"

"Beans count as healthy vegetables but jelly beans don't? Not faaaiiir!!!"

"It's an ugly nose, but at least it gets rid of some broccoli."

I've learned that it doesn't do any good to slip broccoli to the dog under the table.

"I changed my mind about eloping with you, Billy....my mother didn't fix broccoli for dinner after all!"

'I don't want to eat this. I want to eat organic foods.'