Picky Eating Gifts

"I asked for something gluten-free, dairy-free and meat-free and he brought me a glass of water."

"Please don't kill me."

"The dog refuses to eat his dinner."

"I don't like foreign food myself: I only suck the blood of native animals..."

"Oh man. Tia Carmen's making that soup with all those weird vegetables."

"It's an ugly nose, but at least it gets rid of some broccoli."

"The bones...have they been buried for the full 21 days?"

"I know it's pricey, but I think going back to the old food is probably a good

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

'Broccoli is biodegradable, you know, in case you want to throw it out before I eat it.'

He wanted a different one.

'Oh come on! I can't be that bad!'

'Okay mum, I'll eat it all up. But I doubt I'll grow big and strong on this muck!'

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

'You had better eat those intestinal organs or there's no dessert for you!'

"Mummy said dinner was brussels sprouts tonight. What about we drop by the park and see if the old man sitting on the bench can feed us instead?"

'Strained Carrots Again? What am I being punished for this time?'

"Something will fall down from the sky and it will be the end of the world - just because you didn't eat all of your carrion for lunch, my boy!"

"I'll have the vegetable lasagne, hold the vegetables."

'Do I have to give thanks for all the spinach, or just the bite I'm going to eat?'

"Mouse? No. They contain cheese and I'm lactose intolerant."

'Could I trade all of this for more of that?'

"Trust me, it tastes good – you won’t like it."

"I guess that pretty well debunks the fruits and vegetables are good for you myth."

'Aww, mom! Pineapple upside down cake? ...Again?'

"Come on, honey, try just one Goliath pea. It's organic, locally grown, and GMO free."

"Life is so unfair! There are already ants in the cake but none in the broccoli casserole!"

'I say it's spinach and the heck with it!'

"Beans count as healthy vegetables but jelly beans don't? Not faaaiiir!!!"

"That cat is just finicky...I think the cat food tastes just fine! How about you, Herb?"

I've learned that it doesn't do any good to slip broccoli to the dog under the table.

"Do you want the rest of this mouse? It tastes gamey to me."

"I changed my mind about eloping with you, Billy....my mother didn't fix broccoli for dinner after all!"

"There were hooves in my lunch! I told you I don't like hooves."