Picky Eater's Nightmare Gifts

'Since when do lentils do the backstroke?'

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

'Broccoli is biodegradable, you know, in case you want to throw it out before I eat it.'

'Okay mum, I'll eat it all up. But I doubt I'll grow big and strong on this muck!'

He wanted a different one.

"Please don't kill me."

'Oh come on! I can't be that bad!'

'You had better eat those intestinal organs or there's no dessert for you!'

'Strained Carrots Again? What am I being punished for this time?'

"Something will fall down from the sky and it will be the end of the world - just because you didn't eat all of your carrion for lunch, my boy!"

"Mummy said dinner was brussels sprouts tonight. What about we drop by the park and see if the old man sitting on the bench can feed us instead?"

"I'll have the vegetable lasagne, hold the vegetables."

'Do I have to give thanks for all the spinach, or just the bite I'm going to eat?'

"Mouse? No. They contain cheese and I'm lactose intolerant."

'Could I trade all of this for more of that?'

"Trust me, it tastes good – you won’t like it."

"Come on, honey, try just one Goliath pea. It's organic, locally grown, and GMO free."

'Aww, mom! Pineapple upside down cake? ...Again?'

"Life is so unfair! There are already ants in the cake but none in the broccoli casserole!"

"I guess that pretty well debunks the fruits and vegetables are good for you myth."

'I say it's spinach and the heck with it!'

"It's an ugly nose, but at least it gets rid of some broccoli."

"I changed my mind about eloping with you, Billy....my mother didn't fix broccoli for dinner after all!"

"You don't like my cooking, do you?"

"Can you test for broccoli and brussels sprouts too?"

"Beans count as healthy vegetables but jelly beans don't? Not faaaiiir!!!"

"That cat is just finicky...I think the cat food tastes just fine! How about you, Herb?"

"There were hooves in my lunch! I told you I don't like hooves."

'And for the Queen of Whiny Eaters, two pieces of bologna, cut into quarter-inch squares, coated with Abe's Barbecue Sauce...'

I've learned that it doesn't do any good to slip broccoli to the dog under the table.

'Being omnivorous means we eat anything: That includes Brussel sprouts!'

"Do you want the rest of this mouse? It tastes gamey to me."

'I don't want to eat this. I want to eat organic foods.'

"Mom, this food tastes like puke. We want Mickey D's."