Picky Eater's Parent Gifts

"Mom, this food tastes like puke. We want Mickey D's."

"You had me at caramelized, but lost me at onions."

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

'Broccoli is biodegradable, you know, in case you want to throw it out before I eat it.'

'Oh come on! I can't be that bad!'

'Okay mum, I'll eat it all up. But I doubt I'll grow big and strong on this muck!'

"Please don't kill me."

He wanted a different one.

'You had better eat those intestinal organs or there's no dessert for you!'

"Something will fall down from the sky and it will be the end of the world - just because you didn't eat all of your carrion for lunch, my boy!"

"Mummy said dinner was brussels sprouts tonight. What about we drop by the park and see if the old man sitting on the bench can feed us instead?"

"I'll have the vegetable lasagne, hold the vegetables."

'Do I have to give thanks for all the spinach, or just the bite I'm going to eat?'

"Mouse? No. They contain cheese and I'm lactose intolerant."

'Could I trade all of this for more of that?'

"I guess that pretty well debunks the fruits and vegetables are good for you myth."

"She doesn't eat raw zebra... Where can we get Alaska wild salmon in cream truffle sauce in the middle of Africa?"

"Trust me, it tastes good – you won’t like it."

'Aww, mom! Pineapple upside down cake? ...Again?'

"Life is so unfair! There are already ants in the cake but none in the broccoli casserole!"

"Come on, honey, try just one Goliath pea. It's organic, locally grown, and GMO free."

'I say it's spinach and the heck with it!'

"It's an ugly nose, but at least it gets rid of some broccoli."

"That cat is just finicky...I think the cat food tastes just fine! How about you, Herb?"

I've learned that it doesn't do any good to slip broccoli to the dog under the table.

"Can you test for broccoli and brussels sprouts too?"

"Do you want the rest of this mouse? It tastes gamey to me."

'Being omnivorous means we eat anything: That includes Brussel sprouts!'

"Beans count as healthy vegetables but jelly beans don't? Not faaaiiir!!!"

"I changed my mind about eloping with you, Billy....my mother didn't fix broccoli for dinner after all!"

"There were hooves in my lunch! I told you I don't like hooves."

"Locusts don't sound too bad compared to spinach."

'I don't want to eat this. I want to eat organic foods.'