Physiotherapy Aficionado Gifts

40 minutes in this position

Licensed Therapist

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

'I believe we've located the cause of your back problem, Mrs. Kangaroo.'

"Postwar is hell."

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

Couples' therapy

'Your reflexes are still good!'

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

X-ray Psychology.

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

"It's hard not to take a mutiny personally."

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

'We have three minutes left.'

'I find that a live rhinoceros rather than an invisible elephant speeds things up considerably.'

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

'I get the feeling you're wagging your tale on the outside and crying on the inside.'

'Why can't they call it a deer, or a squirrel market?'

'I'm wrapping it tightly to keep the ankle from swelling.'

Shrinks in heaven

'Motherhood is great, but I get a really sore back...'

"Just what emotion is your emotional support dog supporting?"

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

"Freud doesn't work for you, so I', going to try some Dr. Anthony Fauci..."