Phrasing Genius Gifts

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

The Proust of Twitter

''Raining cats and dogs' is just a phrase, Alix.'

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

'What have you got for the man who knows everything?'

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

"We're going to see my family. There's an extra twenty in it for you if we never get there."

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

"Sales are up 38% since the name change."

'85.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

It was then that Cervantes was inspired.

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

"It's such a nice day. Why don't you go outside and plagiarize something?"

"No, I don't think I have a book in me. I think I have a chicken in me."

"This is my own arrangement...of a song I wrote...about me."

"No wonder you can't write, you're not plugged in!"

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

The central metaphor of her novel was a fly.

Writer's Block Party

"I feel bad about Nora Ephron's neck."

Hollywood Think Tank

T. S. Eliot

"See - that's how he's able to write all those plays."

'The music business.'

'Brilliant writing, Mr. Fenswick, but I'm afraid we'll have to pass on your 'How to Commit the Perfect Crime'!'

'I connected a food processor to my computer, in case I have to eat my words.'

"If you were truly blessed by genius, it wouldn't end there, believe you me!"

"How's this? 'Quoth the Raven, Nevermore, unquoth.' "

'Don't worry. I've got your back.'