Photogenic Food Lover Gifts

"I have a food intolerance - I can only eat photogenic food."

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

'Your French dip, sir.'

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

"We're odd looking but just as good."

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

'Excuse me - are you organic?'

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

'Pepperoni: Muse of Pizza'

'Just for once, can't we have a picnic without your mates turning up to crawl all over the food?'

"Excuse me, but could you ask the chef to make this a little more photogenic?"

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

"This deserves an Instagram photo. Would you mind taking a picture of someone washing the dishes when I'm done?"

"Mom said never use that dirty 4-letter word on vacation...DIET."

A man and baby wearing bibs

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

Avocado Timeline

"I'm trying to gain 10 pounds before midnight so I can keep my resolution to lose 10 pounds next year."

"I only recommend the 24 oz. Prime rib for big fat guys."

"My instagram feed is basically people, dog food, and tennis balls."

'My wife's on a diet. So far she's lost her personality.'

'You may well have eaten fresher fish before but not in this restaurant. . .'

'The marvelous thing about a Singles cruise is, if you don't find an interesting man, you can drown your sorrows with interesting food.'

Cook being told what to do by housemaid

If traffic signs were used in everyday life...

I always forget - is it white with dry food and red with wet food, or the other way around?

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways … Open Mike Night Presents Sadie Cohen. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my ladle can reach … When feeling hungry for the crunch of crouton and ideal lettuce. I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need ... by cheesy bread and chicken wing. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I eat of thee freely, and then, at four, 'tis goodnight. O Sizzler salad bar, how do I love thee? I'm hungry.

'You'll love this, it has no nutritional value.'

"Get the meat loaf—I hit it out of the park today."

"George often brings his work home with him."

"Ooh, that looks delicious! Does it photograph well?"

"I'll have the sticky rack of ribs for my main course and something vegan for my Instagram post."