Photo Realist Gifts

No, its just a regular camera. It's not an app showing what you'd look like if you gained too much weight.

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

Pinocchio's Second Realization

Road Forks in the Road: No Way and Yes Way.

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

'I don't think of my skin as saggy...I think of it as relaxed-fit!'

"I'm not going to lie. It took a large speaker's fee to get me to say your future is bright."

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

City Bar and Grill - "Stop worrying, youth and enthusiasm can't compete with experience and treachery."

"I don't love you anymore, Barry, but I still think you're a great American."

"I figure we can blue-screen the kids in later."

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"

Woman talking romantically whilst man talks about measuring the scullery.

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

"I refuse to discuss my selfless passion for public service until my hair, makeup and lighting are perfect."

"I have a list of downsides I'd like you to develop into a list of upsides."

The point in every relationship, when annoying habits become intolerable...

'Will you marry me if I can get funding?'

"Will you sign a legally binding contract to get the state involved if you ever decide to leave me?"

"Say, why don't we go see the Hopper show at the Whitney?"

Woman is surrounding by penguins and can't reach her camera

"This place has a water view if you're looking at the mortgage."

"Happy anniversary, dear. How about a second honeymoon?" "Sure. Who with?"

"You never chase me through back yards anymore."

"Today, in all aspects of life losses outnumbered gains."

'Perhaps we should leave details of the divorce settlement until after we are married.'

"I appreciate couples therapy, but I can't stop fantasizing about group therapy."

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

Al, I hear that only one out of 100 art school graduates goes on to make a living in art. That's where I was smart, Axel: I flunked out!

Warning Being Alive On This Planet May Cause Cancer

Social lens of the photojournalist

'This is George, my divorce lawyer from a previous marriage.'