Realism Enthusiast Gifts

The Next Big Thing/ The Next Best Thing.

"The robbery and car chase are better in the movie but the hostage situation was definitely better on the cable news coverage."

"I have a list of downsides I'd like you to develop into a list of upsides."

'I prefer realistic toasts.'

"I'm at an age where romantic comedies make me want to throw up."

Pinocchio's Second Realization

'Time for Daddy to tell you the 'Facts of life'...'

'My enthusiasm for protecting post-war Iraq has been slightly dampened.'

'There's an enormous gap between our youthful ambitions and ultimate accomplishments.' 'Speak for yourself.'

'...and so, after rehab, Snow White married the prince, and lived one day at a time ever after.'

Gustave Courbet

'Of course, the worst may never happen. There is always that chance.'

"I'm not going to lie. It took a large speaker's fee to get me to say your future is bright."

Expectations vs. Bitterness

"Not everyone's as lucky as us to still have jobs."

"Every day's a nice day. Just keep lowering your standards."

"I don't like you, but I like the idea of you."

"Today, in all aspects of life losses outnumbered gains."

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

Tired Barbie

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

T.S. Eliot lacks the courage to eat a peach.

New from Low-Key Press.

City Bar and Grill - "Stop worrying, youth and enthusiasm can't compete with experience and treachery."

'Now stay tuned for 'Hope - Myth or Reality', to be followed by 'Reality - Hope or Myth'.'

"I'm the bluebird of low expectations."

Woman talking romantically whilst man talks about measuring the scullery.

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

"Now at this point reality intruded."

Inbox and Outbox

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

"Say, why don't we go see the Hopper show at the Whitney?"