Realism Seeker Gifts

To Joey's disappointment, he discovers that arm wrestling was also fake.

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

Pinocchio's Second Realization

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

Tired Barbie

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

Escher exhibition first floor

'Waiter, there's a Fly-Agaric in my soup.'

"It's a Wonderful Life" if it was written by scientists.

Surreal ale

"You will bargain away what little integrity you have left for what little job security you can gain."

"I'm not going to lie. It took a large speaker's fee to get me to say your future is bright."

"He begged his wife and kids to join him in Tahiti, but he didn't mean a word of it, the bastard."

New from Low-Key Press.

City Bar and Grill - "Stop worrying, youth and enthusiasm can't compete with experience and treachery."

'Now stay tuned for 'Hope - Myth or Reality', to be followed by 'Reality - Hope or Myth'.'

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

"I'm the bluebird of low expectations."

Woman talking romantically whilst man talks about measuring the scullery.

"Could you spare some change for a guy fresh off welfare?"

Thermidor Dali

Man Ray

"Now at this point reality intruded."

Artist depicts cow as large steak.

"I have a list of downsides I'd like you to develop into a list of upsides."

Francis Picabia

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

"Say, why don't we go see the Hopper show at the Whitney?"

"Today, in all aspects of life losses outnumbered gains."

Inbox and Outbox

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

'I'm going to put you in touch with reality.', 'Can't I just sneak up on it?'

"Oh well - same shit, different day. . .!"

"A glimmer of hope is fine, Hendricks, but anything more than that will lead to massive disappointment."