Realism Appreciator Gifts

New from Low-Key Press.

"I'm the bluebird of low expectations."

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

"Don't cry for me, Argentina."

"Oh well - same shit, different day. . .!"

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

Pinocchio's Second Realization

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

Tired Barbie

"It's a Wonderful Life" if it was written by scientists.

"Of course I'm aware of reality! I mean, we met in St. Thomas, got engaged in Austria, announced it in London and now we're getting married in the Flatbush Jewish Center!"

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

"You will bargain away what little integrity you have left for what little job security you can gain."

"I'm not going to lie. It took a large speaker's fee to get me to say your future is bright."

'Now stay tuned for 'Hope - Myth or Reality', to be followed by 'Reality - Hope or Myth'.'

City Bar and Grill - "Stop worrying, youth and enthusiasm can't compete with experience and treachery."

Today I am trying to grow a bit of beard...

"Could you spare some change for a guy fresh off welfare?"

"I have a list of downsides I'd like you to develop into a list of upsides."

"Today, in all aspects of life losses outnumbered gains."

"Say, why don't we go see the Hopper show at the Whitney?"

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

'Because I CAN'T follow my dreams, dummy!'

Warning Being Alive On This Planet May Cause Cancer

'I'm going to have to let you go.'

'I feel better today too, but around here I've learned not to be too optimistic.'

Gustave Flaubert

"Where do you see yourself in five years?"

Expectations vs. Bitterness

'That's the sign of a good painting!'

"It's no good, Martin, it's still in the room."

"Let's be realistic. Are we all going to try to keep this party afloat, or should we just go home and forget it?"

"You can be anything!". . . "Take whatever you can get."