Skincare Realist Gifts

"Round and round the cauldron we go, in the exfoliating toner I throw."

"Did you check the SPF, dear?"

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

'This facial cream is called 'High Definition'...it brings out beauty in sharp, wonderful detail.'

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"Well, what number sunscreen are you using?"

Desert Dermatologist

Fast Food Dieter

Sunburn lotion, Windburn lotion.

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"

"Yikes! So many foundations, so little time."

Woman talking romantically whilst man talks about measuring the scullery.

'We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?'

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

"Apricot pit?! Are you kidding, Mister? This stuff knocks raw avocado and almond nut outta the water!!!"

"How come your skin is sooooo smooth?"

"Believe me, you never looked better since you fell into that vast of skin cream."

"A Leading cosmetics company believes our drilling mud would ake an excellent skincare product."

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

'Believe me, sweetie, if I thought the 'Wrinkle Out' setting on the clothes dryer would work...'

"Which one of these things is the soap?"

Warning Being Alive On This Planet May Cause Cancer

'Mildred....is that you?'

'No, it's not a special on the Grand Canyon. It's an actor's face in high definition.'

Dating is so expensive...

Tanning salons to avoid. . .

'My doctor told me these new Botox injections could be harmful.'

'These facial wraps work great on dead skin.'

'I'm sure I'm getting worry lines worring if this anti wrinkle cream is working!'

"I am exercising. I'm doing some online walking around an online mall."

Beauty Products - for women, and for men (exactly the same, but with turbo added).