Phone Jugglers Gifts

'Why Mr. Root, I had no idea you were not happy with your work here at crisis services!'

"I wanted to give you a heads-up about the caller on line three, but I see I'm a bit late..."

"Call you back – a more important call's coming in."

'Emergency - put me through to the yoga club immediately!'

'You're breaking up.'

In/Out/These Things Happen.

"May I put you on hold? I was on another line."

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

"O.K., she's sitting fown to write in three...two....one...."

"I told him not to rely on his GPS whe out running!"

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? My wife doesn't have a job. The other night she told me it'd be nice if I helped out a little more at home. So I replied "hey, I don't ask you to come to my place of business and do my job for me." I see. Have you tried the "act like I never said it and wait for her to forget it" routine? Yes, sir. I also, tried the "don't-make-eye-contact-until-she-forgets-it" maneuver. I'm running out of ideas.

The Communicator

"Hello?"

Overworked

"I don't think I can be truly happy unless I have more passwords."

"I as a multitasker, which lead to being a multiscreener."

"I was just ringing to see if you got the e-mail about the letter I sent you?"

'Hold on, there might be someone more interesting on the other line...'

"We'll have to pick this up later. My plane just went down, sharks ate my personal assistant, and apparently I'm winning some kind of surfing competition."

'Call me back - the old trout's on the other line.'

The Basic Blueprint for 99% of Today's Conversations (or So it Seems)

"It just doesn't seem right. Ever since the new system upgrade nothing is where it used to be!"

"Yes dear, I know excessive mobile use is dangerous, that's not why I'm calling."

'Take a message...'

'It's for you.'

Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence. We received a communication fro Alpha Centauri, but it appears they just pocket dialed us.

'Will this job requirer me to look up from my phone?'

Woman holding two phones together.

"Ho ordered the Cafe au Lait?"

You were watching tv on your cellphone while driving, and almost hit an old lady. Guilty. No more multitasking. You are no longer allowed to do two things at once. Okay. Or three things! Death of a loophole.

'Let me put you on ignore ... I mean hold.'

Multitasking.

"My eyes ache, that's enough zoom meetings and screentime for today."