Call Jugglers Gifts

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

'Go right in -- he's expecting you.'

"Here are the new sales figures, which way up would you like them?"

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

"Look Billington, if you can't take the strain, tell me, ok?"

'Your resume and interview were so bad, not only did you not get the job, I'm having you arrested as well.'

'I find my job interesting because even after 27 years, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing here!'

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

"O.K., she's sitting fown to write in three...two....one...."

Wealth Juggler.

'You call it diversified work experience.. I call it can't hold a job.'

"Ever since the layoffs, I feel like we've been doing the work of twenty clowns."

'Yes sir, I'll get right on it. Would you like it done with or without gusto?'

"Oh just ignore him!...he always shows off when we have visitors!"

SNAKE CHARMER: snake reads 'help wanted' ad.

"Misunderstood,overworked,underpaid and stressed, it's bound to lead to depression...still enough of my problems,what can I do for you?"

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

'What do I do around here? Sir, I really think I deserve some time for research and preparation before answering that.'

(an employee is in grasp of a giant octopi.The employee's boss is yelling at him through a bull-horn) 'Mr. Smith! According to H.R., you can no longer be employed here! Alright H.R., you can set Mr. Smith down now!'

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'

'Regarding where you stand for a payrise - you don't.'

The Communicator

"Honey! We're home!"

"Life After a Circus Bankruptcy."

Overworked

'The numbers aren't working.'

'Word has it that you have an ulcer, Tomkins. Nice going! You'll find an extra 20 bucks in your paycheck.'

'Of course you're overworked and underpaid! Didn't you read the fine print in your employee's contract?'