Phone Critic Pillows

'The only thing he brought back from Earth is their annoying cell phone technology.'

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

Reading my Critics

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

Statue of Liberty with satellite dish and laptop spying on the World.

"Never mind, Harry. Just remember, the 'Saturday Review' loved it."

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

'The sole reason I haven't talked to my wife for five years, is that I was too polite to interrupt her...'

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

Twitter censorship

A man on a giant book poses as Rodin's The Thinker.

Donald Trump Tells a Joke...

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

'He speaks for our entire generation. Pity he's such a bore...'

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

The new Physics

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

'I said, how do you like my new communication tool?'

'Bloomsbury Group, members only'

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

Modern Day Kids Playing 'Telephone'

It tells you the time? That's all it does? Well, isn't that just the cutest little thing?

Dog writes a review: 'A sublime book, I devoured it in one sitting ...'

Constructive Criticism 50c.

Someday

Samuel Beckett

"You'll never believe who's here."

"Hang on! - we've possibly go another couple of films left in here!!"