Phone Call Expert Pillows

Listen to a lot of phone pitches while I'm at work?

"Linda, when answering the phone it's 'Edward Case, Psychiatrist' not Ed Case..."

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

'The King of what?'

Mobile phones and long distance relationships,

'Telephone call for Mr. Right!'

'It's the bank again... What I'd give for a bit of good old-fashioned heavy breathing!'

"Why didn't we think of that?"

"Yes, we do fix phones. But, what is that?"

Ins and Outs of Sex Therapy

"Your first job is to learn to recognize your boss' voice on the phone."

'Sir, wife number two is on line one and wife number four is on line three ... or is it the other way around?'

"Hi...I was just phoning to see if you got my e-mail?"

'Every time a phone dies, he buries it.'

...the onion rings

'Federal Bureau of Technological Compliance - May I help you?'

'... Press 7 to admit defeat...'

'I'll be late for dinner - a shelf fell on me.'

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"No, you hang up first. No, you!"

"Yes, I'm still on hold and counting the billable minutes."

"Hello, Braque? Picasso here. Cubism is out."

Phone Calls As a Child and As an Adult

'When a caller asks for me, I'd appreciate it if you'd stop saying 'who'?'

"We will have to go back. The dog wants to go out."

"He wants to know if I'm alone."

Collar I.D.

Business executive has desk sign stating: I am in a meeting.

"Thank you for holding, your prayers have advanced in the queue and will be answered by the next available deity."

Woman on the phone while her kids cause chaos in the background.

"I've been talking on this phone so much, I'm getting cauliflower ears."

Telemarketing Center: Help wanted. It's not a job - it's a calling.

"Hello. This is the old man across the street. Get off my lawn!"

"May I put you on hold? I was on another line."

'You can't put me on hold... I'm putting you on hold!'